They Steal my Heart

Tonight we rushed the boys to bed. A really good NCIS was on, and we were trying not to miss much of it. We did an awesome thing where I shower them as Don brushed their teeth, done and in bed in ten minutes.

Ten minutes later, NCIS was over. The kids were chattering, so Don went in. About 10 mis later, I could hear them still up and I went in to give them a kiss.

We let them chatter, as long as they don't get crazy. Well, they were chattering all right. Telling stories about seeing a shark at the beach and how the shark ate someones beach hat. The boys were totally into it, not knowing it was a "pretend" story.

They are just so stinking cute at this age. Every day, every night, I am thrilled with how life has turned out. I know they drive me crazy often. Sometimes I feel like I am driving the crazy car all day long.

But I am so blessed with a happy family. Even when I am a shit mom and hurry my kids to bed so we can catch a good show, they still steal my heart and make me take a minute to appreciate what I have been blessed with.

Weighing my Options

Big dilemma. Yesterday we went to the mall with intentions to get a snack at the food court for the boys. The snack options were Aunt Annies pretzels or Cinnabon. Well, options turned once we even thought of the word Cinnabon, because who can think of it, then have it right in front of you, and then deny yourself one?

So one cinnabon turned into "we should get 2 for the family to share". Then, oh look, you can get a four pack, but a 6 pack is only a buck more.

You know where this is going right? Now we have 2 cinnabons left in the house and my resistance is getting so low. I can not fight the call of a hot warm gooey cinnabon.

The faster they are eaten, the faster I can get back on track, right??

Home Made

After swimming in the pool all afternoon, we just came inside and had a snack. We ate homegrown carrots and peanut and butter sandwiches made with our OWN canned jelly. I am feeling a bit proud of myself, and also wondering if I am becoming a hippie...

Am I going to Hell?

This is my first attempt at blatant honesty here.

There is someone who if I could just wish off the face of the earth at this moment, I would. And probably not ever regret it.

It is a personal battle inside my mind though. I am the queen of do righting. All sorts of pc, hating to hurt feelings, making everything fair for all parties involved. I used to have the patience of a saint (before kids).

But after so many years of trying to make our relationship nice, I am over it. I don't understand what the hell is her problem, and I finally no longer care. She lives on a pile of lies and I so badly want to pull the bottom lie out and let the whole thing tumble down.

Today I said something that could make it all tumble. But she didn't catch it. I am actually sad it didn't happen.

I feel like this will make me go to Hell. But I still wish it would have happened.

It is so weird. I am not angry. But the way I feel in this situation makes me change from everything I thought I stood for.

My Intro

I have a family blog, but sometimes there were things I wanted to share that weren't really relevant to it. Some were not so family friendly, other times I felt things were too honest to post, and some times my thoughts were just to scattered to publish.

So, I decided to start another blog, one that is for me. My thoughts, life from my perspective, and my voice. Maybe it will be crafts ideas, my journey in weight loss, sharing a not so good day, or just bragging on my family. The point is, it is my outlet. Thanks for joining me.